Tutorial: Fighting Etiquette

(My basic fighting, hit list, banking, and healing tutorial is here.)

Fighting etiquette is VERY controversial.  I should begin by being very clear that there are NO rules in VDS.  That truth - which you should never forget - notwithstanding, some conventions have surfaced.  Ignoring them is entirely your prerogative, though you should expect to earn a reputation if you make it a habit.

Note: I might discuss my personal thoughts on some of these conventions elsewhere (such as in opinion pieces); but this is a tutorial, so I will try hard not to pass judgement.  My purpose here is honestly just to try to put new vamplings in the know!

Clan cannot be attacked unless HLed.

"Whining," i.e. complaining, when you are killed is considered bad form, as is asking higher-tier vampires (such as elders or your sire) to fight your battles for you.  The better course of action is to bide your time until you are strong enough to take your enemies out yourself!  Many people also try to form "truces" by becoming friends/clan - that way the game won't let you attack each other (unless your clannie is put on the Hit List - then s/he's fair game for anyone who can claim her/him!).  You are, of course, not required to clan someone you attack just because they don't like being killed, but clanning someone can be a good faith way to end a heated dispute, and not clanning can sometimes send the signal that you don't want a peaceful resolution (HOWEVER not everyone agrees with this; understandably, some people have no interest in friending/clanning someone they've had a big dispute with!). 

It is considered bad form to fight below your tier, such as to retaliate against someone who killed or KOed a friend or childe (unless there has been incontrovertible bullying going on, and, even then, discussing it privately with the person is the best first step, and there are other options too before attacking).  It is considered bad form to attack an enemy's innocent friends, childe, family, or BBE partners just to get at them.  In addition, generally, you are expected to try to fight only off the Fight List (meaning you're not expected to target specific people repeatedly absent adequate provocation), and to try not to kill the same person more than three times in a single day (although, if they kill or HL you, killing them again in retaliation on a one-to-one, tete-a-tete basis is considered fair).   Ganging up on a person, even only amongst those in the target's tier, is bad form as well; as my VDS mom says, "Sometimes it's inadvertent and coincidental, but it should never be planned."

Again, plenty of these rules are not universally-accepted, though they are very common.  In the event you are being ganged up on or bullied, killed by people above your tier, etc, private negotiations are a good first step.  If those appear to have failed, try getting advice from an elder or a sire as to how to proceed.  Some times elders/sires will try to step in to negotiate, or sometimes people bring disputes to the developers (only do this if you have experienced abuse (TOS) - remember, the devs will only remind you that there are no rules if you come to them basically just to whine), or bring disputes to groups that have designated themselves to adjudicate such matters (though some players see these groups as "taking justice into their own hands" or as trying to enforce fictional rules, so they are also not uncontroversial).

Sometimes people bring disputes to the public discussion boards to get the opinions of the larger community, but I'll take a quick moment to highly recommend against this, as bringing private matters up in public almost always results in misunderstandings, miscommunications, he-said/she-said matches, side-taking, and arguing.  In short, it often leaves a huge social mess that others have to work hard to clean up.  A better course of action, if you desire community input, might be a hypothetical post about the situation, and even then, remember to express yourself clearly, respect people's opinions, and to try not to get goaded into behaving badly - posts on the board are public, and throwing a fit there reflects badly on you!

Expect retaliation.  :)

Aside: Hit-Listing Etiquette:  There is, of course, controversy here too.  Some people never Hit List, some only Self-Claim, others Hit List only on a tete-a-tete basis, or Hit List once for each time they are killed or KOed, and finally others are rather inexplicable serial "hit listers" (HLers)!  :)  I think most people tend to Hit List when someone they cannot kill on their own has killed them repeatedly, to send a message.  When someone Hit Lists you, however, it is usually considered fair to retaliate - don't let this surprise you if you HL someone!  While we're speaking of retaliation, however, please know that while it's permissible to fight back against the person who placed the bounty (again, the "hit lister"), it is considered very bad form to retaliate against (or whine at) the bounty-hunter who claimed the bounty (the one who did the actual killing).  "Relaying," the practice of hit listing another player while giving a friend advanced knowledge so they can claim the bounty, is also frowned upon, particularly when it's done spitefully and obviously (though note that sometimes what looks like relaying to others is, in fact, done inadvertently and coincidentally).